What I've accomplished today...

I made it out of the house with two kids by 7:00 and made it to Physical Therapy for 7:30.

I blow dried my hair with a round brush and arms behind my head.

I replied to a whole bunch of emails, wasted about 3 hours on the couch, and ate half a box of Girl Scout cookies.

It's been a great day.  I'm off to another appointment now hoping to hear that my incision are looking good.

Run

I ran for the first time yesterday!  Despite the cording, I got the ok to try "light jogging."  They recommended loading on the sports bras, not because they're going anywhere but just to make me feel more secure.  I did a slow mile and a half, walking a bit before and after.  It felt good!  I felt like I could have kept going a while longer, but knew that I needed to keep it light, so I stopped anyway.  However, I will admit that run was ALL that I did the entire day.  I was on the couch the rest of the day.  I wasn't sore or anything, just tired.

So now, who wants to do the Cellcom Marathon Relay with me???

Cord

It's official.  I have Axillary Web Syndrome. I have a cord in my left armpit.  I can feel it and see it now if I hold my arm up a certain way.  It feels very strange like tiny ropes being pulled in my arm and armpit.  It is the result of some of the vessels being damaged during the sentinel node biopsy. (Sentinel Node Biopsy was the biggest set back of surgery day for which I received the bill of $588 for yesterday--I wonder if they took anything off for waiting over 2 hours for a five minute injection.)  The lymphatic system has been disrupted and now it's trying to restructure itself to find a way for the lymph to drain.  Here's a picture of someone much skinnier than me.  Luckily I have some meat on my bones and mine doesn't stick out like this.   

There is shockingly little information available about it.  Prior to surgery, I heard all about the lymphedema risk, but never this. The few pieces of information that I have found out there all contradicts each other.  One study says that it occurs to 6% of patients, another 40%, another claims that as many as 72% of patients develop it but it's just not well documented because most women think that it's just pain associated with mastectomy and don't notice because they never see the cords pop out.  Some studies say that leads to an increased risk of lymphedema, others disagree.  All studies agree on treatment involving stretching, which I have already started and am doing several times a day. The cord and developing web will go back to normal or pop in weeks or months, but there's no way of knowing how long it will be. However, some women are still bothered by in years following their mastectomy.

As much of a pain as this is, my motto is . . . it's better than cancer.

Day 23

It's been 23 days since surgery.  That's just over 3 weeks.  I'm almost back to normal with the exception of not lifting things and getting tired easily.  I had another Physical Therapy session this morning and tried Zumba Gold yesterday.  It's so strange how some simple moves can feel so different now.  The very first song during the warm up of Zumba had an arm movement that I've done hundreds of times previously and never thought would be a problem, but I felt it!  I had to take it so slow (slower than the moves already are during Gold!) and make sure that it was good stretching pain not hurting pain.  I had fun the rest of the time, once I realized what I could and couldn't do

Before surgery I worked really hard building up my core muscles so that I could handle movement post surgery with ease.  My torture for this was holding plank position for 2 minutes at a time.  It was tough, but I could do it.  Now, instead of holding plank, my two minutes of torture is simply lying on my back with my hands behind my head letting gravity pull my elbows down to the ground.  This sound so simple, but is so challenging for me right now.  Most of my pain right now is in my armpit area rather than directly on my chest.  There just a crazy tightness there.  My physical therapist said that this is typical because that's the center of where everything goes to (nerves, vessels, etc.)  and that my chest is numb therefore, I'm not feeling the muscle stretching pain there. 

She talked to me today about Axillary Web Syndrome or Lymphatic Cording. Because of the pain I describe during movement sounds like that, we're going to just make sure we keep things moving and stretching so that it doesn't turn into it.  I don't really want guitar like strings poking out from me, so I'll be working hard on those exercises.

 I even felt so good today, that I went to Younkers to do a little shopping with their Good Will sale.  Of course, the one day I choose to do something fun for myself during recovery, I see a student's mother there shopping as well.  Oh well, she was very understanding and I got myself some good deals.

Physical Therapy

First day of physical therapy was tough.  She had me stretching and pushing it a lot further than I even would have done for myself.  That's the point though.  I already feel less tightness across my chest and shoulders.  Funny moment of the morning was when I realized that my bra had burst open again at some point during the exercises and I never noticed.  I have no feeling there and I was concentrating on the movements.  I didn't notice until I stood up to leave and my shirt wasn't lying right.  Oops!  If you ever see me having a wardrobe malfunction, please tell me because I probably don't notice. 

Tonight we have a dinner waiting for us made by Chef Kelly (PCMC's private chef and hospitality specialist).  It looks delicious.  I'm having a hard time waiting for dinner and not tearing into it (especially the cake) right now.

Beautiful weather

This weather has been beautiful! I'm really enjoying going on walks and sitting outside watching the girls playing in the backyard.  However, I must admit that this warm spring isn't really compatible with my post mastectomy wardrobe plans.  I really would like a few more weeks to hang out in over sized sweatshirts.  I have movement back enough to get into regular shirts, so I am no longer limited to button up shirts, zip front hoodies, or step into tanks--getting them off is sometimes tricky though still.  It's just that my skin is having some sort of a reaction still to something used during surgery and is peeling like crazy.  I don't really want to show off my arms yet in this condition.  Now onto my other interesting problem...my underarms.  Apparently placing something under your pectoral muscles reshapes your underarms as well as your breasts.  I now have to figure out how to shave these newly shaped underarms which has not been very successful yet.  I'm hoping it just takes time.  If not, I'll be having laser hair removal soon.  I wonder if my Plastic Surgeon would give me a deal on it?  So if you happen to see me out, please ignore the flaking skin and possible hair.  Thanks!

Day 16

These last few days have been interesting.  I left the plastic surgeon's office Monday with some directions for scar treatments that were pretty interesting.  I'm going to go into some details that everyone might not be into, so feel free to stop reading here.  The directions were to cover my incisions with Vaseline, let it sit for a few hours or overnight, then take a wet wash cloth and try to rub away the glue that is covering it.  I didn't really understand exactly what this meant at the time, but the directions sounded easy enough so I didn't ask more questions. 

Monday night I slathered on vaseline and Tuesday morning I started the second step.  I wet a wash cloth and started rubbing away at the incision.  It was a very strange experience.  Here I was pushing on and rubbing with something warm and wet on the side of my breast, but I cannot feel a thing. It was even crazier when the glue actually started to come off.  I had no idea how my incisions were actually closed, but they didn't look pretty.  They were smaller and thinner than I had expected, just a thin line with some brownish reddish chunks of skin in a few areas and an all over greyish tint that I thought meant I was headed toward having necrotic tissue (dead tissue that would just fall off eventually).  They weren't awful, but weren't pretty. Well after a bit of work, this stuff started just peeling off revealing this tiny pink scar.  All that grossness was just the glue with dried blood in it.  I was just amazed! I was so excited! I now understand why so many women post pictures of their healing--they just want to share this amazement with someone else. I had a hard time not taking a picture immediately and sending it to Mitch's phone, but thankfully rethought that one before I actually did it. 

It took a few days and quite a bit of Vaseline and rubbing, but eventually it all came off.  I was all set to begin the next step in scar care involving a silicone product called prosil that cost $21 for .15 oz. (smaller than a chapstick tube).  However, there is a bit of bleeding from the incision still.  Not a ton, not in all areas.  I called the doctor about it today and asked if I what I should do.  The nurse explained that I should not use the prosil scar treatment until it's completely closed up and that I need to be careful and watch for signs of infection.  Too bad, I waited to call until after I had already put the prosil on.  Oops.

All that work left me a bit sore--more than I have been feeling lately and feeling more run down than yesterday.  I hope I'm just imagining this because I'm a worrier and it's not an infection coming on. 

2 weeks post op

I am now two weeks post op and feeling great.  I feel 100% sure that I made the right decision and am already happy with the results.  I'm off pain meds--just need an occasional ibuprofen or Tylenol.  I'm still napping each afternoon, or at least nearly sleeping while watching something each afternoon.  My body is regenerating itself into the alloderm that was used to create my "pocket" so I am expected to get tired and I plan on allowing myself to rest whenever I feel the entire time I am off. 

I read an article the other day that Giuliana Rancic went back to work 2 weeks post op.  Please don't compare me to her.  Even though I am feeling very good, the thought of going back to work right now is out of the question.  I really would like those articles that gush about how quickly she bounced back to tell us more about her work day. I'm doubtful that it's a full day; I would probably last about 2 hours, plus prep time to get myself ready and to work.  Giuliana has a team of people working for her to put her together each day or she gets to show up to work wearing a hooded sweatshirt and sunglasses and they put her together when she arrives eliminating that whole wake up at 5:30 to get myself and the kids ready before school routine that I have to handle.  She can probably take care of some of these post op things during her work day.  Guiliana you are not going to make me feel guilty for taking more time off.  Aside from the huge amount of healing I've been busy doing, here's what else I've already been able to accomplish in 2 weeks:

• Read The Help, watched The Help, and 1/2 way through a second book already
• Cleared the DVR of 1/2 of the season of Private Practice and an entire season of Grey's Anatomy
• One puzzle
• 15 minute walks every day for the last 3 days including one outside w/ the dog not pulling thanks to her Gentle Leader collar
• Enrolled our cars in "Progressive Snapshot" to see if we can save on our car insurance

I'm free!

I'm free!  I'm drain free!  I move my arms, no tugs or pulls.  I can put on and take off clothes now without feeling like I'm stuck on a leash.  It feels amazing! 

Now my output in drain #4 still wasn't good. It still was hovering right at 30cc or more each day, never lower despite my best attempts at being lazy.  But my scheme worked anyway. I showered this morning, drains dangling off a lanyard around my neck.  I did my hair and put on make up. I figured maybe he'll think: "She looks so good, back to normal, we're going to take these out anyway."  I'm not sure if that's it or if was because when the nurse asked if I was ok having more pictures taken today, responding with "only if you take the drains out."  Either way they are gone.  I can throw out the gross measuring containers and move on.

I'm moving on to

•  be able to drive myself again
• a weight restriction from 6.5 lbs (gallon of milk) to 10 lbs. (bag of flour or large potatoes)
• physical therapy to increase my range of motion and slowly work my way back up to exercising regularly to avoid lymphedema (My risk is really low because I had 1 lymph node on each side removed, but staying active is the best way to prevent it). 
• Doctor appointments every 2 weeks now instead of 1 week. 
• Scar conditioning routines morning and night instead of drain stripping, measuring, and emptying. 

If...

If I come home from this appointment with drains still attached to me, I do not know what I am going to do.  I remember reading one person's perspective.  They told their doctor that "if these drains don't come out soon, someone is going to be strangled with the tubing."  I don't know I'll go that far, but who knows what I'd be capable of if I'm pushed to 3 weeks with these things.