Rough Day 5, Better Day 6

Yesterday day was probably my worst day.  Well...not actually worst moment.  I think the worst moment was one night getting so sick from the pain meds that I was standing upright in the bathroom vomiting uncontrollably.  The puking wasn't the worst part, staying upright puking was because I couldn't yet bend over.  You can just imagine the scene.  But back to yesterday.

It really should have been a good day in a lot of ways.  We successfully made it to the dance recital the night before and had the fresh memory of the cutest little girls ever twirling in their tutus.  There were some very nice people at the Park and Rec Department who snuck me in the auditorium a little early so that I wouldn't have to stand and wait in the crazy line or get pushed around in the mad rush when the auditorium doors officially opened.  The new snow gave the girls a great opportunity to get some energy out sledding thanks to Tim and Tavy.  They also gave us a great dinner and entertainment for the evening! Thank you so much!!

It was just a hard day for me because it was the first time that the girls were home all day and I realized all of the things that I couldn't do. I wanted to help get them dressed and ready for sledding.  I picked up Adrienne for a smallest second just to scoot her over while putting on her boots and immediately realized that was a mistake. After they were bundled up, Mitch realized that we had a flat tire, so I just needed to go outside for a bit and entertain them in the snow while he fixed it.  They kept saying "Mommy push me!" but I couldn't pull them in the tubes. I couldn't pick Adrienne up after she was stuck in her snow angel.  I could just stand there and cheer them on.  Even later in the day, I wanted to play with them but I could tell that I was starting to get light headed and needed to rest. There were just so many moments throughout the day from lunch to bath time and bedtime that I wanted to do things and I couldn't for my kids.

Even when I was by myself, I was struggling.  I tried to pick up a book and read, but I kept getting muscle cramps from my arms being in the same position too long. I tried emptying my drains and then forgot that the others were hanging there and accidentally knocked over one container spilling it all over the bathroom cupboard.  My drains started having significantly less drainage, which I originally thought was a great sign.  I started getting my hopes up that they'd be out for sure at my appointment on Monday.  But then the worrier in me kicked in and I started getting worried that there is a clot keeping everything from draining--especially because of the problems I've had with my compression bras feeling like they are directly on the drain sites.  I tried a new bra (which seems to be a daily experience because this whole compression 24/7 is harder than I ever expected).  Midway through the day the bra busted right open and will no longer stay closed.  Then at some point during the night I forgot what has happened to me and what I have hanging off of my body and I rolled over to try to sleep on my side.  I screamed out in pain and Mitch jumped up to help get me back to normal because I couldn't seem to move and gave me some more pain meds.

I slept soundly the rest of the night and woke up to a much better day. I heard the beautiful sounds of the girls eating Lucky Charms in the morning.  I just laid there and fell back asleep for a bit longer.   I just need to accept that I cannot do everything and need to sit back and watch for a little bit longer.  I just need to make it 2 more days until my appointment with Dr. J where hopefully these stupid drains will be removed.  I just need to do 2 more days of compression and hopefully the swelling will be down enough that he says I'll be free from these stupid bras perhaps forever.

I had a visit with 2 great friends today that helped me take my mind off of the struggles and have some delicious meals waiting for us tonight.  Day 6 is a much better day.

Day 4

Today has been just full of good things

1.  Pathology report!
2.  I handled the drains all by myself today.
3,  The scop patch has been removed for 24 full hours and my vision is now completely back to normal.
4.  The patch was helping fight nausea that happens with the pain meds, but now we have a good plan of attack with the pain meds and I have not felt nauseous all day.
5.  I found a compression bra that comfortably fits
6.  I had a good visit last night and this afternoon with some wonderful and helpful friends
7.  I'm feeling good enough to watch Aila's dance recital for a little bit tonight.

Day 3

Sleep, Sleep, Sleep.  That's all I want to do right now.  I work up at about 6:30 this morning and sat down at the kitchen table with the girls for breakfast.  But by the time they were ready to go at 7:30, I was already in the recliner almost dozing off again.  

I really expected the first night home to be awful.  But it wasn't.  Mitch set up my bed with as many pillows as possible.  I even took out my pregnancy pillow called the snoogle to wrap around and give my arms some support.  I also discovered that the boppy pillow was perfect for holding the ice packs in just the right place.   I put on the camisole that they gave me that has pockets for drains and then my super soft fleece button up pajama shirt on top of it.  It kind of makes me feel like I'm walking around wearing a life jacket.  But I did sleep well, only waking up once to take more pain meds.  

I've been sleeping on and off the rest of the day so far.  Mitch is back at work, but keeps texting or calling to make sure that I haven't gotten myself stuck in a position that I can't get up from.  He only works 2 minutes away, so I know that he can be here as soon as I say I need something.  I've been practicing breathing with this thing to help me be able to take deep breathes again.  

I'm surrounded by some beautiful flowers to make the day better as well.  Now back to sleep.

Day 2

We stayed one more night in the hospital last night so that they could figure out the best pain medicine options for me and  monitor my vitals a bit more.  I warned them that my pulse is always really low, but they still wanted to monitor it because 42 seemed shockingly low.  By 8:00am  Dr. Colette stopped up to give us our discharge instructions  She removed all of the dressings for good.  The nurses helped us practice emptying and stripping the JP drains.  They set me up with a surgical support bra and a camisole with pockets that can hold the drains easier.  We had so many great nurses over my stay.  I wish I could remember their names, but it's still a bit foggy.  At 10:30 we were on our way home. I got a bit emotional as we were packing up to leave.  I suddenly couldn't believe that I actually did this. All that planning and it was done so fast.  Did I really know what to do for myself at home? I think the emotions all came out because I was tired and didn't take any morning naps.

I immediately went to bed for a rest while Mitch ran to pick up prescriptions.  I was obviously really sleepy because I even turned down the Pizza Hut breadsticks that he brought home to continue napping.  Mitch went to pick up the girls, so I was finally able to see them, hug them, kiss them.  Aila was such a great helper.  She pulled the ottoman next to the chair I was sitting in and just kissed me, rubbed my arm, and read some books to me.  Adrienne was a bit more difficult.  She was whining at the my feet asking to come up and cuddle.  I felt so bad that I couldn't pick her right up, but made sure I gave  her lots of kisses instead.

Mom came over and washed my hair in the sink for me.  Then we worked on figuring out the compression bras to try to figure out what would work best.  Prior to surgery, I had ordered about 5 different sizes and then was given another at the hospital today.  When I tried the hospital one on earlier in the day before we left, I freaked out because it was so painfully tight and felt like it was pinching the place with my drain tubes went in.  So I decided to try some of the others that I had picked up.  They all seemed so gigantic before but  wouldn't come close to closing now because of how swollen I am.  We finally made one of them work and I am now in my comfy fleece pjs ready for bed.  I just took my pain meds though and am feeling a little bit nauseated.  I hope this goes away fast.

Home!!!!

We have made it I home and Renee is resting.  I have no doubts that she will be back to her old self in no time.  She is so strong and brave it makes me realize how lucky I am to be her husband!

                                                                                                      Mitch

Day 1

I'm in more pain today than I was in immediately yesterday after surgery.  It's probably because I wasn't really awake enough to feel the pain.  Some say it feels like you were hit by a bus, but I don't know if that's how I feel.  It's more like a constant cramp in my pec muscles.  It also radiates down my sides along my ribs.  I'm trying some good pain meds and it's gotten better throughout the day.

I was able to walk to the bathroom this morning, brush my teeth, and clean up a little bit.  I took several walks down the hallway with some help. I have to use incentive spirometer breathing toy to help make sure my lungs are clear and won't develop pneumonia.  Both surgeons were in this morning to check on me.  They took the binder and dressings off to examine me.  They both said every thing looks good.  I have some bruising and discoloration but they said that's normal.  I ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner without any trouble.  I made it into real pants now, but still can't get a normal shirt on because of the IV and giant ice packs.

Dr. Colette explained that lumps that were found on my MRI at the end of December were something called fibroadenomes.  Which are small fiberous lumps that can move around the breast.  They were all benign.  We'll have the full pathology report by the end of the week.

The strangest thing is that my eye sight is really blurry.  It might be from the anesthesia or from the scop patch.  Even with my contacts in it's hard to see.  I had to turn the zoom up huge to be able to see as I'm typing this.  Hopefully this goes away soon.

First night

My mom stayed with me last night.  She switched places with Mitch, so that he could deal with the girls who have had some really bad nights sleeping lately.  Mom helped me eat more ice chips because I had extreme dry mouth from the scop patch to prevent nausea.  Every hour the nurse came in to check my vitals.  I had a morphine pump that really helped with the pain.  At about 4:00 am, I tried sitting up at the side of the bed and even walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Other than not getting much sleep, the first night wasn't all that bad.

Surgery Day

Mitch posted a little yesterday about how the day went.  It started off well like I had posted in the entry called waiting.  But then we were stuck waiting and waiting some more.  I was supposed to have my nuclear injections done at 9:00, but then it turned to 9:30 without anyone moving us down to radiology.  At 9:40 I started getting really nervous and asked the nurse to check on everything.  At 10:00 we were told that some how my orders for the Sentinel Node Biopsy had been cancelled.  They had to contact my doctor and  then they'd get me in as soon as possible.  After another 30 minutes of waiting without an update from the nurses, Mitch started to get pretty mad and asked to talk to the supervisor.  We needed a better explanation as to why it was only 30 minutes before I was schedule to be in surgery and wasn't close to being ready.   The supervisor explained that they didn't have the correct dye agent needed for my injection and they were rushing to get some from Appleton.  While we waited, we looked at lots of houses online and checked out ideas of things to do in Phillips for our vacation this summer.  Finally at 11:30 I had the injections.  It was quite painful, numbing spray really did nothing. This injection was supposed to percolate for 2 hours, but because of the big delay, Dr. Colette chose to start surgery first and then use probes to check during the surgery.  Luckily all of the doctors involved were still available a bit later.  I was finally on the way to surgery at 12:45.  I don't remember a lot from this point on.  I do know that while the anesthesiologist was working Dr. Colette stood by my side held my hand.  Surgery started at 1:00 and ended at 6:25.  I woke up in the recovery area. At 7:15 I was rolled into a regular room and got to see Mitch. Mitch stayed with me until 8:30.  He helped feed me ice-chips and gave me all the updates from the doctors, which I didn't remember and had to ask him over and over about.  I'm sleepy  again now, so I will write more later.

All is well

Just talked with doctor Salm-Schmidt and everything went well.  No problems, and the plastic surgeon is finishing up now.  Renee will be happy with the good new when she wakes up in a few hours.

Just got word from the nurse, they are switching sides, and the plastic surgeon is starting on the completed side.  Should be complete in about 2 to 2.5 hours.