Calm

Nothing much to post lately--bring on some more questions for me!  I'm just trying to get prepared as much as I can. I've crossed out a number of things on my to-do list.  We figured out a pretty solid plan for the girls during my recovery.  I finally received the pre-authorization info from insurance.  Thanks for the pillows, Matt and Lisa.  Thanks for pointing out that I need a back scratcher not stretcher, Kayla.  We've been doing fun things every weekend with the girls.  Last weekend was family zumba with Molly and a Cinderella movie night.  This week it's been all about Stranger in the Woods books and movie.  We even went on a little hike in Sherwood Park to leave some carrots for the deer.  We spotted a cardinal just like in the book.  They loved it!  Next movie night will be Pocahontas so that Aila can see the song she's doing ballet to in the movie.  Right now, while the girls are napping I'm blaring Kelly Clarkson on my ipod ("What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...stand a little taller...makes a fighter...footsteps even lighter...) and working on 2nd quarter report cards (most of the time).  I reward myself with little facebook or blog breaks every so often. :)

I feel remarkably calm lately.  After the intensity I was feeling around Christmas, I must say it feels good.  It's almost as though I kind of forget that this is about to happen sometimes.  I was talking to someone at a meeting this week and right before we left she said something heartwarming about how she'll be thinking about me.  I left feeling great because of a few reasons.  First, it kind of caught me off guard because I hadn't thought about surgery at all that day. It made me feel good that it was not taking over my life anymore!  Second because of the way she put it.  She was sincere, heartfelt, and positive.  It didn't come across as "Oh poor Renee" in any sort of a way which I was really worried about before sharing with everyone.  I was afraid people would think poor pathetic mutant with a mutilated body because that's not how I look at myself at all.  By sharing on this blog, I never really wanted people's sympathy.  I don't have cancer; my journey is nothing in comparison to what someone fighting cancer has to go through.  So hearing the pure support in her voice was great!  Thanks!!